Read The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple

The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple

Sean Gibson

4.9/5 (29419 ratings)

Description:"Mr. Gibson has the potential to be the next Terry Pratchett." - Readers' FavoriteA bard walks in on a dark elf dealing cards to a beholder, a mind flayer, a demon, a grouchy-looking wizard, and what is either a vampire or a really pale guy with an unfortunate widow’s peak….The set-up for a bad joke? Nope (well, maybe that, too)—just a typical day at the office for adventuring partners Heloise, Erithea’s most beautiful, witty, talented, and occasionally prone to talking in the third-person half-elven bard, and her powerful hill giant companion, Grimple, who doesn’t look like a hill giant anymore because he made the mistake of crossing a lich and getting illusioned (yes, it’s a word…or, at least, we’re going to pretend it’s one) into something even more ridiculous. (Grimple is kind of an idiot.) It turns out that getting adventuring work when your hill giant companion looks like a sickly gnome (despite retaining his giant strength) isn’t easy, so what’s a beautiful, witty, and talented half-elven bard to do? The answer, of course, is obvious: set off on a quest, idiotic hill giant partner in tow, to confront the lich who transformed him in the first place, and look really good doing it. Along the way, chances are good that adventures will be had, wrongs will be righted, songs will be sung, monsters will be smited, treasure will be won, and, perhaps, love will be made to burly dwarves (or, more accurately, dwarf, singular—I’m not really a party girl). Part parody, part homage, and all woman, The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple lampoons the greatest fantasy adventures of yore even as it upholds the very best traditions of the genre (and, I might add, looks really good doing it). But, don’t take my word for it—here’s what people across Erithea are saying about The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple: “The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple is one of the greatest sagas ever set to music by one of the, um, wait—what did you want me to say here? I can’t read your handwriting. ‘One of the most talented, beautiful and sweet’—does that say ‘sweet-canned’? Seriously? Because I’m not saying that. Wait—why don’t I get title credit, too? If it weren’t for me, you and Grimple would never have…hey! Hey! Ow! Put your dagger away, Heloise! Fine—I’ll say it! It’s great. Geez. Just read it, all right?”--Kevil, Wizard “Heloise is all right for an ugly elf. And she’s very good at stabbing things.”--Tongclutcher Kilnfire, Dwarf, Master Weaponsmith of Dormenklehs“Urk kunk grummh nuk kur grubble knuck.”--High Chieftain Gnurk Blurglesplick of the Grandorian Orc Tribe (okay, so not all of these testimonials are complimentary, but, hey—I can’t be held accountable for what spurned lovers say about me or my work)“That Heloise is a genius, and she has one heck of a sweet can. And, boy, can she sing.”--Heloise the Bard (All proceeds from the first 150 copies sold of The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple will be donated to ProLiteracy (www.proliteracy.org), an organization that promotes adult literacy through content development, programs, and advocacy.)We have made it easy for you to find a PDF Ebooks without any digging. And by having access to our ebooks online or by storing it on your computer, you have convenient answers with The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple. To get started finding The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple, you are right to find our website which has a comprehensive collection of manuals listed.
Our library is the biggest of these that have literally hundreds of thousands of different products represented.

Pages: 195

Format: PDF, EPUB & Kindle Edition

Publisher: Kindle Select Publishing

Release: 2016

ISBN

Description: "Mr. Gibson has the potential to be the next Terry Pratchett." - Readers' FavoriteA bard walks in on a dark elf dealing cards to a beholder, a mind flayer, a demon, a grouchy-looking wizard, and what is either a vampire or a really pale guy with an unfortunate widow’s peak….The set-up for a bad joke? Nope (well, maybe that, too)—just a typical day at the office for adventuring partners Heloise, Erithea’s most beautiful, witty, talented, and occasionally prone to talking in the third-person half-elven bard, and her powerful hill giant companion, Grimple, who doesn’t look like a hill giant anymore because he made the mistake of crossing a lich and getting illusioned (yes, it’s a word…or, at least, we’re going to pretend it’s one) into something even more ridiculous. (Grimple is kind of an idiot.) It turns out that getting adventuring work when your hill giant companion looks like a sickly gnome (despite retaining his giant strength) isn’t easy, so what’s a beautiful, witty, and talented half-elven bard to do? The answer, of course, is obvious: set off on a quest, idiotic hill giant partner in tow, to confront the lich who transformed him in the first place, and look really good doing it. Along the way, chances are good that adventures will be had, wrongs will be righted, songs will be sung, monsters will be smited, treasure will be won, and, perhaps, love will be made to burly dwarves (or, more accurately, dwarf, singular—I’m not really a party girl). Part parody, part homage, and all woman, The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple lampoons the greatest fantasy adventures of yore even as it upholds the very best traditions of the genre (and, I might add, looks really good doing it). But, don’t take my word for it—here’s what people across Erithea are saying about The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple: “The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple is one of the greatest sagas ever set to music by one of the, um, wait—what did you want me to say here? I can’t read your handwriting. ‘One of the most talented, beautiful and sweet’—does that say ‘sweet-canned’? Seriously? Because I’m not saying that. Wait—why don’t I get title credit, too? If it weren’t for me, you and Grimple would never have…hey! Hey! Ow! Put your dagger away, Heloise! Fine—I’ll say it! It’s great. Geez. Just read it, all right?”--Kevil, Wizard “Heloise is all right for an ugly elf. And she’s very good at stabbing things.”--Tongclutcher Kilnfire, Dwarf, Master Weaponsmith of Dormenklehs“Urk kunk grummh nuk kur grubble knuck.”--High Chieftain Gnurk Blurglesplick of the Grandorian Orc Tribe (okay, so not all of these testimonials are complimentary, but, hey—I can’t be held accountable for what spurned lovers say about me or my work)“That Heloise is a genius, and she has one heck of a sweet can. And, boy, can she sing.”--Heloise the Bard (All proceeds from the first 150 copies sold of The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple will be donated to ProLiteracy (www.proliteracy.org), an organization that promotes adult literacy through content development, programs, and advocacy.)We have made it easy for you to find a PDF Ebooks without any digging. And by having access to our ebooks online or by storing it on your computer, you have convenient answers with The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple. To get started finding The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple, you are right to find our website which has a comprehensive collection of manuals listed.
Our library is the biggest of these that have literally hundreds of thousands of different products represented.

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The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple

The Chronicle of Heloise & Grimple

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